9.1.14

What's the Meaning of Marriage?

It's been ages since I last wrote here, well not ages, but you know what I mean. Happy 2014 to all my readers out there, may this year bring you good things.

It's 4:38 am right now and I just couldn't sleep. There's something that's been bothering me for awhile. First of all, I consider myself open minded, but no matter how I twist and turn around this I can't seem to find a way to accept it. I know a lot of people would disagree with me on this and will tell me that times have changed but still it isn't enough.

So here is the thing, lately I've been seeing an outbreak on young girls getting pregnant unplanned. Is not even funny anymore that when someone is going to tell me something about somebody I automatically think that she's pregnant. I know it's not my business if they get pregnant, but bare with me and just hear me out. The thing that saddens me is that the old tradition of marriages is fading. Couples are getting pregnant before making their vows. Now hold your thought right there, there is no excuse that having a wedding is expensive because there are ways to make a cheap and beautiful wedding; like: lots of d.i.y, having a small wedding with only the most important people, not spending so much on a dress you are going to use just one night, etc. Babies don't come cheap either. Do you know how expensive diapers can be and considering a baby uses like 4 or more diapers a day approximately? Anyways, for me, marriage means getting to live together, the thrill and scary experience of spending that first night together consuming their love for each other, creating a family and making that promise to stay with each other until death. I mean, how beautiful is that? It saddens me because young people are led by their sexual desires or group pressure. I don't believe the typical story of every girl that's only been in a relationship for a month and already says that he's the love of her life and blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend with all my heart, but I still don't know if we are going to be together forever. A lot of things can happen in a relationship. You have to be realistic.

So what's the meaning of getting married if you are already pregnant and have lived together? In the end, after you take away all the special meaning it is left with only a "party" and parties can be done anytime.
I'm guessing that sex becomes kind of an addiction because they say that the first month or so of marriage is like being bunnies. So why try one time just to "experiment" if you just can hold yourself for the wedding night? It's easier. It's like drugs, once you've tried it once, you are hooked; or so I've been told. I mean, come on, we are human not animals that can't control themselves. I've heard of the saying "you have to test the waters before jumping in" (I think it's something like that) and I think it's bullshit, because at the end of the day you stay with a person because you love them not because of their "sexual abilities". You can find sex anywhere, but you can't find love that easy.

And ladies, if your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex with you 99.8% of the time he isn't going to stay in the long run with you. Like we puertorricans say: "solo quiere un canto", that translates to "he just wants a piece of you" and once he got what he wanted he can leave.We women have to learn to respect ourselves so men can respect us. If you want to save yourself for marriage, it's nothing to be ashamed of and you should be proud to be a virgin. It's not a competition or a price, it's your body and you are the only one that makes the decisions. There are more important things than sex. To me, is just not worth it having sex out of marriage when a lot of things can go wrong. And if for some reason your hormones are driving you crazy and you desire to have sex but still wish to save yourself for marriage, avoid being completely alone with him and/or stop yourself, take a step back and say "no". Your hormones will eventually calm down and you can go on with life.

I don't hate kids or anything, I actually like them and in a future would like to have at least two. The things that I want to get across are:
1. Respect: we should respect ourselves by not giving something so precious as our body to someone that you don't know if they would be with you forever
2. Well-being of the baby: ensuring that the baby will have a good life and stable home
I mention the second one because I've seen so many news, programs, and in my surroundings, kids that should be having a better life but aren't because their parents weren't ready to have a baby.

Babies are something that should be planned ahead, because you need to make sure that you can provide them with all the things they need: stable home, love, care, medical, food, clothes, bed, etc. It's a big decision. One of the big things that a couple should analyze is if they are mature enough to raise a child, because when the parents still need some growing up to do and the baby isn't raised right, when he/she gets older he/she will cause problems. It should be parents raising kids not kids raising kids.

I'm getting sleepy and maybe that means I cleared out my head with all of this. I just kinda felt a need to share to the world and see if someone will agree with me on this.

I want to leave a link here on cheap beautiful wedding ideas, if you guys want to check it out -> Intimate Weddings

I want to hear your comments or perspective on marriage, maybe you guys will make me understand this phenomenon better. Don't know, I always think that with communication we can solve things.

On that note, I'm off to sleep. Goodnight readers!
 
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